Don't Carry the Weight of the Dead
by DarkEclipse45
Summary: No matter what she thought, Fiora still blamed herself for Valor. But in a rare and personal moment, one friend comes to comfort her. Secret Santa fic for Undercover-Dark-Knight!


**Author's Note:** All right, Undercover-Dark-Knight, this one's for you! You mentioned in the exchange that you liked both Kent and Fiora so I thought I would write something up about the two of them. I've always liked the Kent/Fiora pairing. It takes place under the impression that Kent and Fiora have an "A" support. Terribly sorry if it's a bit subpar, considering that I haven't done much hard writing in some time now (Or really Fiora at all. I've written Kent before, so I think I got him well enough). Hope you like it anyways!

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_**Don't Carry the Weight of the Dead**_

She still couldn't bring herself to accept it.

Fiora could still see them all fresh in her mind, as if every minute detail of that terrible was forever ingrained into her memory. Oh how she wished that she could forget, forever purge the events and her actions of that terrible day from her mind forever. But they were always there, taunting her. The terrible screams of agony, the blood soaked sands of Valor and the seas run crimson with the life blood of soldiers who had fought so valiantly under the onslaught of the Black Fang assassins.

Fiora sighed and took in a deep breath of the night air. The port town of Badon was quiet and she was far enough from the inn and other taverns that the sounds of rowdy, rambunctious corsairs didn't bother her out here on the dock. She found it surprisingly cool this night compared to previous ones and attributed that to the winds blowing in off the sea. Not that the cold bothered at her all; having spent years in Ilia had hardened her against any biting chill that might find her. The moon was dark and the rest of the sky clear, leaving the stars to be admired in all their grandeur.

But all of that, plus the gentle and rhythmic lapping of the ocean waves against the wood of the dock, did little to assuage her mind. Because even now, weeks after the battle, she still felt the pain and guilt that she felt instantly after flying into a rage on Valor following her company's defeat. Perhaps she felt the throbbing agony in her heart so much now because Eliwood's army would be leaving on for the Dread Isle on Fargus' ship the very next morning and just even the thought of returning brought the horrors back to her with such potency now.

All of those soldiers, every single one of them, dead because of her failed leadership. Why must be the one to live when so many others had perished? After all, no matter how her sister tried to console her and tell her otherwise, it was still Fiora's fault that the mission had ended in a complete disaster. And regardless of the intel she had gathered to bring back to Lord Pent as per his request, nothing could properly justify all the lives that had been lost on Valor.

Even though she had friends here, something she didn't doubt and treasured deeply, Fiora couldn't exactly expect any of them to truly understand. Florina was still too young to properly understand the guilt she bore and why she couldn't just "cast it away" and so easily forget about it. She could tell Farina, but her younger sister had a way of not being quite so sensitive even when the moment called for it. Not that that really bothered Fiora; it wasn't so much in Farina's nature to be quite as delicate. There was always Lord Eliwood, but it seemed his thoughts were too preoccupied with what had happened during their last encounter with Nergal. So, that really only left…

"You know, you should really stop sulking, Fiora."

Fiora turned her head slightly to find Kent standing to her right, arms folded across his chest and not looking at her directly. Fiora hadn't even heard him approach and couldn't fathom as to how long he had even been standing there close to her before revealing his presence. Given Kent's manners in the past he likely hadn't been there long. Fiora wasn't exactly surprised that even under what seemed to be informal circumstances, Kent was always so…proper. His back was always erect and he never slouched. His constant diligence never failed to remind Fiora of herself a bit.

"Sulking?" she asked after a moment's pause. Her voice was as cheerful and kind as she could muster, but it was a poor attempt, at best. "I'm just enjoying the cool night air, Kent. You're free to join me, if you would like."

"You don't have to try and hide anything from me, Fiora," Kent said with a small smile. "It hasn't exactly been unnoticeable that you've been a bit reserved since we left Ostia and especially since we arrived in port."

Fiora managed to force a smile. "Thank you for your concern, Kent, but I can't think of anything specifically that's bothering me at the moment."

Kent's smile quickly disappeared. "Forgive me if I insult you by being so persistent, but I can tell that there's a weight on your chest that's bringing you down, whether you want to admit it or not. And you can't possibly forget what we talked about the last time we were alone together.

"Well yes, I do remember what we agreed, Kent, but this isn't really something—"

"I do know exactly what we agreed," Kent interrupted. His voice was kind and soft as it always was. "And I know that whether or not I know what's wrong it might be too personal to talk freely about, but I can tell that whatever it is it's affecting you on and off the battlefield." He frowned. "And neither is favorable under any circumstances. I don't mean to be blunt, Fiora, but at the very least, as one friend to another, whatever this is you shouldn't keep bottling this up."

Fiora sighed, mostly in frustration. She wasn't angry with Kent, only angry at herself that she had let him find her in one of her fewer weaker moments. Fiora had to admit that he was right and could only guess that Kent surely knew what she was thinking based on how gloomy her mood had been the past several days. And based on the concerned look that was currently etched into his face, he likely wasn't going to give asking her until she told him exactly what was on her mind.

That is, unless he didn't _already_ know exactly what was wrong, like he hinted.

"All right," she said finally. "If you must know at least something, I was thinking about what happened to my soldiers back on Valor, before Florina recruited me for your army." Fiora looked up at Kent. "But was this something you completely figured out on your own, Kent?"

"Not, entirely," Kent admitted, still gazing out to sea. "Lord Eliwood told me that you mentioned something to him about it, but didn't give him any details. He's worried about you too, you know, but was afraid that you might not confide in him even if he asked."

Fiora gave him a curious look. "So Lord Eliwood put you up to this?"

Kent shook his head. "No, not at all. He only said anything to me because he knew we spent a fair amount of time together and perhaps _hoped_ that I might come and talk to you. All of that aside, I did come here of my own volition and I did have a feeling that what you just told was what was troubling you."

Kent relaxed a bit and sat down next to her. "You're free to tell me more if you would like. "If not, I won't force you. If not, we can just sit here for a while."

Fiora shook her head. "No, you're right, Kent. I really should talk to someone about it and I've been bottling it up for far too long and I should really tell someone about it."

So she told him, told him everything about what happened. She saw no reason to hold anything back since Kent would no doubt know if you reserved anything at all. And she trusted Kent enough as it was to be completely honest with him. Enough time had passed since what happened that she could keep herself composed while talking. All the while Kent sat silently and listened intently, not interrupting her at all.

"Do you feel this way now because we're returning to Valor tomorrow?" Kent postulated after she was finally finished. "That just being this close to the Dread Isle brings this all back?"

Fiora sighed. "I suppose so. But Kent…I…" She closed her eyes and paused to collect herself. "I didn't even get to bury them. After the battle I flew into a mad rage before I could even give them a proper burial. By the time we returned from the Dragon's Gate they were already gone, washed out to sea or picked off by scavengers. Because of my foolish anger, I never even gave them proper farewells either."

"But we were just mercenaries," she added solemnly. "I doubt they'll ever really be missed by anyone else, unfortunately."

"All soldiers, even mercenaries, have value, Fiora," Kent reminded her. "It's ridiculous to think that any one life has more worth than another. And it doesn't matter where you hail from or even how much you get paid for a job as long as you have honor."

"I ran from them, Kent," Fiora lamented softly. "And after I ran I let my rage consume me to the point that I left my fallen comrades and nearly got myself killed in the process. I was trusted to lead them and I failed miserably. What honor is there in that?"

"We have a saying in Caelin," he said with a small smile, "that honor and loyalty aren't things that are given without regard to the soldier in question. Honor is something that rests entirely on character and _who_ you fight with and _who_ you fight for rather than who you're fighting against. If you can at least stay true to those values, as I've seen that you do, Fiora, you can at least have honor in that."

"And loyalty?" Fiora asked. "What does Caelin say about that? I never questioned their loyalty, only that they may have placed their faith in the wrong person."

"No, I don't think their faith was misplaced at all," Kent assured her. "Loyalty isn't just a personal trait. Most of it depends on who's the one giving orders, what kind of commander you're under. It's the same reason why Sain and I stay so loyal to Lady Lyndis or even Oswin to Lord Hector." He gave her a bigger, more reassuring smile. "Those soldiers you led were no doubt loyal to you, Fiora, and with good reason. They wouldn't have followed you into battle if they thought they you would only lead them to their deaths."

Kent moved closer to her and looked directly in her eyes. "You never failed them, Fiora. You never truly abandoned them at all and I don't believe that they ever doubted you one bit. And most of all, you shouldn't be blaming yourself. You were simply outgunned and outmatched, which is not something to be ashamed of. Even the best tacticians would have fared no better. They followed you because they believed in you and if it's any consolation, so do I."

He reached over and took her hand in his. "You never failed them at all because you survived. It may not seem like much, but it means everything. You lived so that you could continue living for them. You're here now and the best thing you can do continue living for them now in the same way you did when they were still alive."

Fiora felt her heart throb at the truth in his words. "Kent…"

"I do apologize for lecturing you a bit," Kent added, "but it doesn't do anyone any good to see you like this. And you know, it would do _me_ well to see you smile again."

Fiora did smile, genuinely this time. "I…thank you, Kent. You're right. Your kind words have lifted my spirits. At times it is difficult to keep a clear head when you have such things on your mind."

"When you're feeling down, you don't think rationally," Kent assured her. "You see only the worst in everything. You start thinking about negative things and everything else seems just as terrible. It's a powerful illusion, even when you recognize it as such."

Fiora chuckled softly. "Or maybe if I just wasn't so stubborn, I wouldn't have this problem."

Kent nudged her playfully. "I can always go get your sister. I'm sure Farina would have more than enough to say about that."

"Please don't bring her into this! I'd hate to get lectured by her too!"

Kent smiled. "I wouldn't unless I absolutely had to. And would you at least admit that I was right about talking about this?"

"Yes," Fiora whispered. "Yes, you were right…" Satisfied, she rested her head against his arm. "But Kent, if you don't mind, at least while we're on Valor, would you mind staying by my side? It would mean a great deal to me if you would."

Kent wrapped his arm gently around her shoulder. "I'd like nothing better, Fiora."

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**Ending Note: **Well, I do hope you enjoyed it, UDK! It's not much, but I did my best. I hope that if keeps to your standards since I tend to botch even the slightest attempts at anything slightly romantic.


End file.
